imperfection is underrated

The idea of imperfection has been biting at me for some time. At first I wasn't even aware that it was a big thing, a big idea that was worth facing with an open heart. Now I know that it is. Its big. And I am paying attention.

Many months ago, i read and reread Women Food And God. My poverty mentality spreads its vicious tentacles across most of my life. Or at least it did. When you think that there isn't enough, you tend to grab what you can whether you need it or not. A thousand black dresses, for instance. Every last strand of spaghetti. You keep everything you've ever been given and try to acquire more of everything. It doesn't make any sense, but that's what its like. Its hard to let go of stuff....
Anyway, Geneen Roth talks about how our relationship with food is used to try to fix ourselves....its a very interesting book. The kernel of it however is that we do not require fixing. We are not broken.

"page 200
".....you end the search for more and better. You no longer live as if this life is a dress rehearsal for the next. Authenticity, not trying to be good, begins to infuse your actions. Through practices like the eating guidelines, meditation and inquiry, you slowly realise that you are already whole and that there is no test to pass, no race to finish; even pain becomes another doorway, another chance to recognise where love appears to be absent."

So even if I am imperfect; that is already perfection. I don't require fixing at all. What a revelation!

a few weeks ago, i saw this:

from here via here

another little bite...ouch. its so true.

And then. And then.

I read this in Norwegian Wood, Haruki Murakami...p 173

"I felt a strange and powerful awareness of the imbalance and awkwardness of the human body. Holding Naoko in my arms, I wanted to explain to her, "I am having sex with you now. I am inside you. But really it is nothing. It doesn't matter. It is nothing but the joining of two bodies. All we are doing is telling each other things that can only be told by the rubbing together of two imperfect lumps of flesh. By doing this we are sharing our imperfection"

so, what is the universe telling me, i wonder?
Imperfection is the best we have, not as a last resort, but as a first choice. when we face our imperfection and share it fully with the world, we are giving the world a gift and at the same time the universe gives us the gift of the knowledge that we are indeed and afterall; perfect.

value your own imperfection. highlight it; flaunt it. open your heart and value the imperfections of the people you love. mistakes, scars, wonkiness.

"Today it's brains, tomorrow, pierced tongues. Then the next day, pierced brains"

There is an episode of Daria that i remember from years ago, where Quinn, Daria's dim and popular sister gets a neck pimple. She decides to hide it under a black turtle neck and thus becomes thought of as a beatnik, therefore an existentialist, therefore deep.
it's all very silly and funny, but not far from the truth.
Dressed in black; Quinn tells us,
"I'm putting together an outfit. For your information, this is how deep people dress."

image from here

We all make assumptions about people based on what they are wearing. That's obvious. But don't we also become what we wear? Is it difficult to be sunny dressed as a goth?
Put on yellow patent leather mary-janes and you're going to skip!
Slip into a silk cocktail dress and you're going to wiggle!

What you choose to wear affects to way people perceive you and how you feel about yourself....like my mother and french beautician say;
"you wear too much black"
So, unless I feel like I want to be a goth or a beatnik, I'll try to wear more colour.
Grass-green!
Cornflower Blue!
Cherry Red!

"In his new boots, Joe Buck was six-foot-one and life was different".
That Midnight Cowboy built an amour of western-cut shirts, slacks and silk handkerchiefs which transformed him into the thing he needed to be.
To be brave, I too require the correct and perfect outfit; a uniform that will signify for me. When you re not sure of what you re doing, of who you are exactly; the perfect outfit can give you the courage to set forth regardless.
To learn to swim; I bought a silver- blue digital print speedo; fractured jewel shapes which look like scales of a fish. To learn to fly, perhaps I need something feathery?

Alexander Mcqueen spring 2008 RTW

Wearing a turtleneck to be smart isn't so silly. It's just the first step on the road to smart, perhaps.

*I seem to have remembered this episode all wrong. Quinn apparently writes a good essay. I cant find any mention of neck pimples. Go figure.

addictive personalities; a public service announcement

Should I be worried?

Florrie Fisher is the inspiration behind Jerri Blank;
Amy Sedaris' character from Strangers With Candy.....

In this public service announcement, Florrie describes how she can't stop at one of anything, 'she cant take one snort of horse...' because of her addictive personality. 
If she likes a dress she has to have it in every colour........cue my furrowed brow....I have been known to buy multiples in garments.
When I buy a tee shirt; its usually in both black and in white. And if they have it in cherry red and french blue, then I want those too.
I have some dresses in all available colour-ways. Don't ask me how many black dresses I own, because I couldn't say for sure. A lot I guess.
When I like something, I must own it, possess it in all its possible guises. Does that make me an addict?

Knitwear for all, not just the sane. Or, what to wear to the Apocalypse.

I was walking down my suburban street this week, and who should I see but a Crazy Person!
The only usual Crazy People I tend to see here are the God Botherers.
This Crazy Person was different, he wore a jumper with nothing underneath.


There seems to me to be something dangerous about a man who can only gather enough sanity together to put on one article of clothing on his top half. It's a shirt or it's a jumper; but not both. He often wears shoes with no socks too. The wild look in his eyes doesn't help.

This got me thinking about Layering, it's a difficult thing to get right.
You either can't do it at all- and end up looking like this Crazy Person,
or you go overboard and start layering and don't know when to stop.
Like the four horsemen of the apocalypse are on their way....



image from here


...but they are on their way.


I am thinking perhaps this Viktor & Rolf look could be the way forward;

Wear everything you own at once, adding and removing as you please.
Interest lies in the texture of textiles and in the trims and closures.
Keep the colour palette simple, that is: black.
You'll need an awesome pair of shoes.
Also, if you can keep a couple of Dutch Designers about your person, that would be helpful too.

fun-loving gal seeks soul-mate

The search continues.....for the perfect pair of shoes.
I particularly like to wear a garment that is kind of inappropriate for the occasion; a vintage cocktail dress to get milk for instance. The trick is that I must be wearing the right shoes; the shoes need to counter-balance the outfit perfectly.
With the crimson velvet silk dress; flip flops.
With the plain white tee shirt from the boys department; pointy-toe sling backs.
With the floral watercolour shirtdress: first day at kindergarten sandals. And socks.
In my opinion, an incongruous outfit thus becomes a winner. A little bit of wrong makes it all right.

Anyway; what I need to casualise a silk dress is a pair of boots. I cannot bring myself to buy them; I just feel that they are too mumsy-making-an-effort. I used to wear black knee high leather boots all the time, in all seasons. But that was before I was a mother who was trying to make an effort.

Whats the answer then? Perhaps a brown pair of boots? I had a pair of those too. I bought them while drunk (what a night and morning after that was!) along with another strange pair of platform sandals. Those boots were five kinds of bad and I never did wear them.


These boots however....these Ann Demeulemeester Open Front Sandal Boots (in beige for chrissakes!) are a walking disagreement, they contradict themselves and would therefore work perfectly with absolutely anything.




what death taught me this week

I attended a funeral yesterday.
I went to offer my support to a good friend from high school who I hadn't seen in maybe a decade.
Funerals seem to rip the band-aid off my own slowly healing wound of loss. It hurt but I'm sincerely glad I went.

I came away with two gifts

1. The friends you make as a teenager are the best you are likely to have. Reconnect with these friends, they are precious. These friends knew you when your heart was open, before you were bitter. Very rarely do people you meet post teenage years 'get' you. If you meet someone who you feel is one of your tribe; tell them so.
2. Never miss an opportunity to let someone know how you feel about them. Compliment them. Wear your best silk dress for a coffee date. Don't save anything for a special occasion. Stop looking at the floor. Notice everything. Smile with your eyes and be generous with your humour. Make an effort. This stuff makes a difference to people and it could be that a small gesture lifts them up from a world of pain.

bad jeans amnesia

Most mornings I put on a pair of jeans. They are comfortable, practical and anything will co ordinate with them, more or less....
I get dressed in the dark and a black tee shirt and jeans are my uniform.
Easy. Done. Dressed.

In the evening I take a look at myself in a full length mirror and am disappointed to see that the jeans are just wrong! Not long enough, too tapered, not low enough. Or so mumsy bootcut.

But you know what? The next morning I still put on the same pair of jeans which I deemed wrong only hours before.

I saw this post about photographing the outfit you're wearing everyday for evaluation purposes (not to show off how college-cute you are, although some of those blogs are great too. some.) and it occurred to me that I should be doing this. To get some perspective.
I appreciate plays on proportion, interestingly balanced outfits, volume and slenderness, angular versus drapey.....but it hardly ever translates to what I myself wear.



from indigo&alison via dear ada

I love colour, but like a painter who looks longingly at her rainbow colour palette but continues to use black and white, I want to experiment with silhouette and texture before I think about experimenting with colour.
Please note that I am not a painter. In fact I held my breathe the whole way through the mandatory painting classes at uni.

Maybe jeans are not the answer to my Perfect uniform question, I wonder?

These pants- "The Sherman" might be the answer to every single question I have ever asked.
Including What shall I make for dinner? and Is there really a God?

Smith Jacket, Rib Sleeve Shirt, The Sherman Therese Rawsthorne

I could put this outfit on while its dark and not be baffled by my choice in the light of the day; I reckon.