Friday, November 9, 2012

imperfection is underrated

The idea of imperfection has been biting at me for some time. At first I wasn't even aware that it was a big thing, a big idea that was worth facing with an open heart. Now I know that it is. Its big. And I am paying attention.

Many months ago, i read and reread Women Food And God. My poverty mentality spreads its vicious tentacles across most of my life. Or at least it did. When you think that there isn't enough, you tend to grab what you can whether you need it or not. A thousand black dresses, for instance. Every last strand of spaghetti. You keep everything you've ever been given and try to acquire more of everything. It doesn't make any sense, but that's what its like. Its hard to let go of stuff....
Anyway, Geneen Roth talks about how our relationship with food is used to try to fix ourselves....its a very interesting book. The kernel of it however is that we do not require fixing. We are not broken.

"page 200
" end the search for more and better. You no longer live as if this life is a dress rehearsal for the next. Authenticity, not trying to be good, begins to infuse your actions. Through practices like the eating guidelines, meditation and inquiry, you slowly realise that you are already whole and that there is no test to pass, no race to finish; even pain becomes another doorway, another chance to recognise where love appears to be absent."

So even if I am imperfect; that is already perfection. I don't require fixing at all. What a revelation!

a few weeks ago, i saw this:

from here via here

another little bite...ouch. its so true.

And then. And then.
I read this in Norwegian Wood, Haruki Murakami...p 173
"I felt a strange and powerful awareness of the imbalance and awkwardness of the human body. Holding Naoko in my arms, I wanted to explain to her, "I am having sex with you now. I am inside you. But really it is nothing. It doesn't matter. It is nothing but the joining of two bodies. All we are doing is telling each other things that can only be told by the rubbing together of two imperfect lumps of flesh. By doing this we are sharing our imperfection"

so, what is the universe telling me, i wonder?
Imperfection is the best we have, not as a last resort, but as a first choice. when we face our imperfection and share it fully with the world, we are giving the world a gift and at the same time the universe gives us the gift of the knowledge that we are indeed and afterall; perfect.
value your own imperfection. highlight it; flaunt it. open your heart and value the imperfections of the people you love. mistakes, scars, wonkiness.