Tuesday, August 9, 2011

"Today it's brains, tomorrow, pierced tongues. Then the next day, pierced brains"

There is an episode of Daria that i remember from years ago, where Quinn, Daria's dim and popular sister gets a neck pimple. She decides to hide it under a black turtle neck and thus becomes thought of as a beatnik, therefore an existentialist, therefore deep.
it's all very silly and funny, but not far from the truth.
Dressed in black; Quinn tells us,
"I'm putting together an outfit. For your information, this is how deep people dress."

image from here

We all make assumptions about people based on what they are wearing. That's obvious. But don't we also become what we wear? Is it difficult to be sunny dressed as a goth?
Put on yellow patent leather mary-janes and you're going to skip!

Slip into a silk cocktail dress and you're going to wiggle!

What you choose to wear affects to way people perceive you and how you feel about yourself....like my mother and french beautician say;
"you wear too much black"

So, unless I feel like I want to be a goth or a beatnik, I'll try to wear more colour.
Cornflower Blue!
Cherry Red!

"In his new boots, Joe Buck was six-foot-one and life was different".
That Midnight Cowboy built an amour of western-cut shirts, slacks and silk handkerchiefs which transformed him into the thing he needed to be.
To be brave, I too require the correct and perfect outfit; a uniform that will signify for me. When you re not sure of what you re doing, of who you are exactly; the perfect outfit can give you the courage to set forth regardless.
To learn to swim; I bought a silver- blue digital print speedo; fractured jewel shapes which look like scales of a fish. To learn to fly, perhaps I need something feathery?

Alexander Mcqueen spring 2008 RTW

Wearing a turtleneck to be smart isn't so silly. It's just the first step on the road to smart, perhaps.

*I seem to have remembered this episode all wrong. Quinn apparently writes a good essay. I cant find any mention of neck pimples. Go figure.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

addictive personalities; a public service announcement

Should I be worried?

Florrie Fisher is the inspiration behind Jerri Blank;
Amy Sedaris' character from Strangers With Candy.....

In this public service announcement,
Florrie describes how she can't stop at one of anything, 'she cant take one snort of horse...' because of her addictive personality. 
If she likes a dress she has to have it in every colour........cue my furrowed brow....I have been known to buy multiples in garments.
When I buy a tee shirt; its usually in both black and in white. And if they have it in cherry red and french blue, then I want those too.
I have some dresses in all available colour-ways. Don't ask me how many black dresses I own, because I couldn't say for sure. A lot I guess.
When I like something, I must own it, possess it in all its possible guises. Does that make me an addict?

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Knitwear for all, not just the sane. Or, what to wear to the Apocalypse.

I was walking down my suburban street this week, and who should I see but a Crazy Person!
The only usual Crazy People I tend to see here are the God Botherers.
This Crazy Person was different, he wore a jumper with nothing underneath.

There seems to me to be something dangerous about a man who can only gather enough sanity together to put on one article of clothing on his top half. It's a shirt or it's a jumper; but not both. He often wears shoes with no socks too. The wild look in his eyes doesn't help.

This got me thinking about Layering, it's a difficult thing to get right.
You either can't do it at all- and end up looking like this Crazy Person,
or you go overboard and start layering and don't know when to stop.

Like the four horsemen of the apocalypse are on their way....

image from here

...but they are on their way.

I am thinking perhaps this Viktor & Rolf look could be the way forward;

Wear everything you own at once, adding and removing as you please.
Interest lies in the texture of textiles and in the trims and closures.
Keep the colour palette simple, that is: black.
You'll need an awesome pair of shoes.
Also, if you can keep a couple of Dutch Designers about your person, that would be helpful too.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

fun-loving gal seeks soul-mate

The search continues.....for the perfect pair of shoes.
I particularly like to wear a garment that is kind of inappropriate for the occasion; a vintage cocktail dress to get milk for instance. The trick is that I must be wearing the right shoes; the shoes need to counter-balance the outfit perfectly.
With the crimson velvet silk dress; flip flops.
With the plain white tee shirt from the boys department; pointy-toe sling backs.
With the floral watercolour shirtdress: first day at kindergarten sandals. And socks.
In my opinion, an incongruous outfit thus becomes a winner. A little bit of wrong makes it all right.

Anyway; what I need to casualise a silk dress is a pair of boots. I cannot bring myself to buy them; I just feel that they are too mumsy-making-an-effort. I used to wear black knee high leather boots all the time, in all seasons. But that was before I was a mother who was trying to make an effort.

Whats the answer then? Perhaps a brown pair of boots? I had a pair of those too. I bought them while drunk (what a night and morning after that was!) along with another strange pair of platform sandals. Those boots were five kinds of bad and I never did wear them.

These boots however....these Ann Demeulemeester Open Front Sandal Boots (in beige for chrissakes!) are a walking disagreement, they contradict themselves and would therefore work perfectly with absolutely anything.

Friday, May 27, 2011

what death taught me this week

I attended a funeral yesterday.
I went to offer my support to a good friend from high school who I hadn't seen in maybe a decade.
Funerals seem to rip the band-aid off my own slowly healing wound of loss. It hurt but I'm sincerely glad I went.

I came away with two gifts

  1. The friends you make as a teenager are the best you are likely to have. Reconnect with these friends, they are precious. These friends knew you when your heart was open, before you were bitter. Very rarely do people you meet post teenage years 'get' you. If you meet someone who you feel is one of your tribe; tell them so.
  2. Never miss an opportunity to let someone know how you feel about them. Compliment them. Wear your best silk dress for a coffee date. Don't save anything for a special occasion. Stop looking at the floor. Notice everything. Smile with your eyes and be generous with your humour. Make an effort. This stuff makes a difference to people and it could be that a small gesture lifts them up from a world of pain.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

bad jeans amnesia

Most mornings I put on a pair of jeans. They are comfortable, practical and anything will co ordinate with them, more or less....
I get dressed in the dark and a black tee shirt and jeans are my uniform.
Easy. Done. Dressed.

In the evening I take a look at myself in a full length mirror and am disappointed to see that the jeans are just wrong! Not long enough, too tapered, not low enough. Or so mumsy bootcut.

But you know what? The next morning I still put on the same pair of jeans which I deemed wrong only hours before.

I saw this post about photographing the outfit you're wearing everyday for evaluation purposes (not to show off how college-cute you are, although some of those blogs are great too. some.) and it occurred to me that I should be doing this. To get some perspective.
I appreciate plays on proportion, interestingly balanced outfits, volume and slenderness, angular versus drapey.....but it hardly ever translates to what I myself wear.

I love colour, but like a painter who looks longingly at her rainbow colour palette but continues to use black and white, I want to experiment with silhouette and texture before I think about experimenting with colour.
Please note that I am not a painter. In fact I held my breathe the whole way through the mandatory painting classes at uni.

Maybe jeans are not the answer to my Perfect uniform question, I wonder?

These pants- "The Sherman" might be the answer to every single question I have ever asked.
Including What shall I make for dinner? and Is there really a God?

Smith Jacket, Rib Sleeve Shirt, The Sherman Therese Rawsthorne

I could put this outfit on while its dark and not be baffled by my choice in the light of the day; I reckon.

Monday, May 9, 2011

i blame masterchef

I've had my absolute fill of cooking shows on tv. even the good ones.
I feel my youth seeping out of me as I watch people preparing food;
life passing me by as some one performs a task for an audience, following a recipe in real time.
It is base and boring.
we all know that meat must rest and eggplant must sweat.
I cant stand it any longer!
On top of all that tedium, every meal now must be a feast for the senses!
A production of extraordinary proportions!

New! Exciting! An excursion to far off lands!

I say blergh to that...

B R Myers wrote an awesome article which really made me turn a corner with all this Food-as-Entertainment stuff. He says that putting aside the Food Books liberates you; so I am turning off the food shows, slamming shut the recipe books and adjusting my awareness of food down to a simple
Food is Fuel level.
Do you really want to watch someone chopping onions on tv? Is that good viewing? I have a much better idea. How about someone eating an onion?

the onion 1996

any of this performance artist's work would be great to see of an evening on regular tv...Endurance Art, weeknights at 6pm. You'd watch it, wouldn't you?

Saturday, May 7, 2011

now is the winter of my discontent

A few posts ago, i renounced knitwear and declared that i wanted a really great jacket...Well, i can tell you now; ask the universe and duck for cover!
Since then, I have collected several jackets.

A light handmade coral jacket, sweet and bright
A dark burgundy cotton velvet blazer with navy lining, a little bit goth
A black linen blend 50s style wrap jacket, sophisticated
A red wool double breasted coat, magnificent in its drama
A teal blue velvet jacket with a great big portrait collar

mostly discovered at the charity shop, one given, all apparently "so me"

but....none of them are quite right. I didn't really choose any of them. They didn't really choose me either, these jackets and I just fell together in a sort of lets-be-acquaintances kind of way.

That's the nature of my clothing. What i should do is plan and save for a major purchase such as a jacket, to be sure it's really love.
This Rick Owens Jacket; I love. At least for this week....

Fitted Leather Jacket

Monday, May 2, 2011

undercover mother

i drove past a hoon-like car today stopped by the side of the road, shiny and black with dark tinted windows, tradesman's bogan stickers all over the back; pride for something or other proclaimed. but it was an undercover cop stopping an actual hoon tradie bogan for speeding i guess.
i like the cop's approach.
dont wear your uniform, wear some one elses.

i might just throw away my mum uniform....be a
Music Teacher, Painter, Train Driver or Mechanic.

so here is my wish list of new uniforms; i could wear these forever.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

happy place

take a little break from google-ing the symptoms of your godforsaken life and look at these glorious images.
you can't really covet mountains but you can covet a first class plane ticket to here.


Jungfrau Region



Tuesday, April 5, 2011

awesome stuff right now!

Here is what I am, like, totally digging lately

library/ wide leg/ Fry/ Rake/ necklace/ knitting kitty

  • Knitting- this is my foray into the world of CRAFT.
    Not since Catriona Rowntree's  Crappy Craft segment on the cartoon show, have I been so interested in Crafting. Are blogs craft?
    Anyway, I've started knitting by looking closely at a child's How To book. I know that some people are fanatics when it comes to knitting. I am not about to get a knitting tattoo or anything, but it is relaxing. Once the calluses form, I guess.
  • Libraries- it's where I borrowed the How To book.
  • Rake on abc tv
  • Wide Leg Jeans- with RM Williams boots; hello 70s revival
  • Autumn; breezy and sunny. I even go outside most days
  • Resin Jewellery- handmade from recycled material.
    But you had me at 'looks like lollies'
  • Philip J. Fry- so stupid, but sensitive and courageous. He loves Leela. Most episodes leave me with an aching heavy heart, i almost cry. So melancholy, so much longing. If you listen to it and don't watch the screen, Fry is Stimpy. Billy West is so excellent; how does a cartoon make you feel so much?
  • Dandelion Tea

Monday, April 4, 2011

internet connect

the internet has finally started to make sense to me just recently. I dont mean that i'm a scared little bunny when it comes to getting around the www, just that previously I hadn't seen anything truly remarkable in it.

When I saw this art work; it all made sense!

Value Restored- Mitchel Cumming
thanks to miss moss where I saw it
The internet is all about connections (der)
An artist can use the 'stuff' that already exists in the world to make a comment or bring our attention to a concept. Our shared history, our access to anything we want, anything that exists is the new medium.
Images and information are just like paint or clay; they can be used to create art.

Putting famous flowers into famous vases. Why bother painting flowers in a vase that are sitting in your lounge room, what good is that? Cummings says alot using masking tape and our shared knowledge, however basic it is.

The 24 hour film installation by Christian Marclay, The Clock takes moments from films showing the time passing in the human loops which we all endure.
I didnt see this film, how i wish i could have, but reading and knowing about it is (almost) enough. It is the connection of all of these moments which already existed in other contexts, other works, that make this artwork so amazing and inspiring. Concepts of time are illustrated here using stuff that existed already, that we are all educated in already.

So that's what the internet is all about for me. It's post-modernism but with everything available and downloadable. It has levelled the field completely and it has made anything, any concept possible. Creating is easy. Exhibiting is easy. Discovering is easy too.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011


For my money, Ferris Bueller is not the most interesting character in that film. He is the kind of guy who coasts on his charms; making friends easily. He is cute, yes, but he doesn't grow, change, realise anything interesting.
Cameron on the other hand learns tough lessons about risking it all and taking control of his life. But its Jeannie- Ferris' sister, who I like best.
She spends the day trying to punish Ferris for having it so easy. At every turn she attempts to foil his great day; hoping to expose him to the world for the fraud he is.
"Look at this guy everybody! He doesn't play by the rules!"
Jeannie has a bad case of the 'shoulds' and it makes her miserable. While Ferris is having an awesome day doing as he pleases, Jeannie gets all bunched up. Jeannie's brain tells her that because Ferris is having fun, there is less fun for her. It's not so much that she wishes ill upon her brother; it's that there is a finite amount of 'good' to be had. If Ferris has alot of it, Jeannie will have less of it.

and then,
Jeannie meets a young Charlie Sheen in the police station. She tells him that she is pissed off that Ferris can ditch school and not get caught. That would piss me off too. He SHOULD go to school and if he doesn't, then he SHOULD be punished. Her problem is her, as Charlie tells her.
Jeannie, not unlike me, lives inside her brain too much.

So gentle reader, tell your brain to shut the hell up and start asking your body what it wants more often.
A glass of hot ginger tea? A licorice all-sort? To walk barefoot on the grass?
To wear an over -sized washed-out floaty silk shirt on a windy day? To play a game of squash?
To listen to a slightly scratched record by Muddy Waters? To suck face with a young Charlie Sheen?
All good ideas. All good ways of connecting with your self.
Remember, your brain will most likely lead you astray and make you miserable so never listen to it.

Monday, March 28, 2011

The Accidental Felter

This weekend was the beginning of 'winter' for me; almost more a state of mind, the summer switch turned off. I take a cardigan with me when I leave the house, have tissues in my bag, an umbrella rolls around the car, and I've pretty much given up my blue suede sandals for now too. In this spirit, I got my knitwear out of storage and decided to wash them so they'd be ready to wear at any time.

The thing about knitwear is that it's actually slob-city. You might think you're adding a little sexy secretary to your jeans and tee combo, but really i reckon knitwear is half a step away from pyjamas. A going-out-jumper becomes around-the-house-jumper and then its so comfy that it turns into first-thing-on-out-of-bed jumper.
Bag lady at Bingo Night is where that leaves you, Miss Frumpy; all unstructured and waist-less. I might look at getting a really great jacket for this winter....

Well, this is what I was thinking anyway. As I pulled my favourite cardigan from the washing machine, the boiled wool so neat, a tiny felted garment, perfectly adorable. A Chanel Jacket in miniature. My kid's teddy bear is going to look so chic this winter.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

charity begins in my wardrobe

Buying pre-loved clothes is just about the most fun i can have for a few dollars. I have a recurring dream where i walk into a charity shop and it is filled with amazing clothes and shoes and hats and i love them all and they are all perfect and they complete me and they are all tagged $2. I get giddy just thinking about it!
lately, I've been buying garments which have been hand-made. A late 30s style 70s dress (an air stewardess uniform? asks my husband) a marc jacobs style coral autumn jacket with oversize self covered buttons and a tea cosy which I will wear as a winter hat. The stitching is a little bit weird and the mitre corners aren't perfect for example, but I can just feel the love; one person made the item for herself (I assume) to wear or keep her tea pot warm.
Tracing patterns, choosing fabric, cutting, ironing, stitching, pressing and finally wearing with pride!
These items fit me pretty well but a perfectly fitting garment isn't really so important to me anyway. I've worn plenty that were Not Quite Right. I prefer that look to the one you can get from Susan's. The construction of these new garments is just about flawless; they'll last you well after you realise that you're dressed like your mother.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Monday, March 21, 2011

What Can You Say About People

I am now taking orders for these stick-on signs for the back of your car.
I recommend 3 per car to really ram that message home.

Friday, March 18, 2011

tying one on

Looking cute is not very high on my list of daily priorities....it rates somewhere after consuming enough coffee to remain awake but not so much that i am overly wired and maybe before finding the reason we have an army of ants marching through the hall way.
Tips on wearing something other than my uniform of black tee and jeans (most people have their version); i might leave for another day.
But for today- I found this great down loadable guide- Playtime with your Hermes Scarf.
Add a scarf and say hello to instant CUTE.
Say goodbye to the same outfit from yesterday!

Now, parting with $500 for a scarf is lunacy. There is an endless supply of perfectly excellent scarves to be had for less than $5 at charity shops everywhere. The loveliest silk square of pretty peonies is sitting quietly amongst other strange acrylic nasties in a basket in your local charity shop now!
Go and save it! Give it a little wash! Wear it upon your person today!

horse portrait scarf
horse breeds

hunting scene scarf

horse shoe scarf

I found these in a few minutes on ETSY
I plan on wearing something similar in a "cow boy anneau" style and whistling Mister Won't You Please Help My Pony.
There is nothing on earth cuter than Ween.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

condiment combinations

You can keep your vegemite and cheese and stick it in your pipe and smoke it.
Ricotta and tahini is where it's at, baby.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Alfa Romeo

do you like my new car?
anything i know about cars i learnt from herbie goes bananas, elvis goes mechanic and my son's hot wheels collection.....but my god this car is nice looking.

 1963 Alfa Romeo 2600 Spider

Just perfect for a road trip for the purchase of buttons and cat food.
Fluttering scarf and laughing in the face of the breeze; optional.

Monday, March 14, 2011

He Had No Business Being Out There! No Business!

I love this bit in Parenthood where Lou the Horrible over-reacts at a kids game. Me and Lou are kindred spirits, in a way. We sweat the small stuff and ask who moved our cheese.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Nina Simone - Ain't Got No...I've Got Life

I am kicking this thing off with Nina Simone. It's not even one of my very favourite NS songs, but boy, oh boy- I love to howl at the moon like Nina on bad french smack. Makes me feel better about everything. Especially in the car when mister four wants to know why everything is the way it is. Turn this song up up up and revel in the gratitude for the simple things. Like boobies. And be thankful you got a liver. I am sure Nina gave hers quite a beating.